With The 4th Pick In The 2012 NFL Draft, The Cleveland Browns Select...

Tomorrow night at the spectacular Radio City Music Hall in New York City, the Cleveland Browns will take part in one of the most highly anticipated drafts since their return to the NFL in 1999.  Lucky for you, I have spent endless hours watching film, dissecting combine stats, and talking to my many league sources.  I don’t understand why there are so many versions of mock drafts out on the internet.  I just read Todd McShay’s 73^rd mock draft, in which he has the Cleveland Browns selecting running back Trent Richardson – Alabama, with the 4^th overall selection.  Other so-called experts have landed the Browns with top tier talent such as Justin Blackmon, Maurice Claiborne, Matt Kalil, and (gasp!) Ryan Tannehill. 

The thing is; all of this talk is a giant waste of time.  I listened to hours of sports talk radio on how the Browns were definitely trading the 4^th pick plus others to the St. Louis Rams for Robert Griffin III.  Then Rams coach Jeff Fisher pulled a backroom deal with best bud Mike Shanahan and the Washington Redskins made one of the ballsiest trades in recent memory.  Some say the Browns were never in on the trade talks, fat Mike Holmgren says otherwise.  You can never trust what the Browns executives say – they hide information like Jessie Spano hides caffeine pills.

NFL Draft talk is really nothing more than the male version of high-school girl gossip.  “Ewww, can you believe that Seth is dating Megan? He is wayyy too cute for her, plus… she has a flat ass”.  NFL translation: “Although having severe holes to fill on both sides of the ball, Adam Shefter is reporting that the Cleveland Browns are heavily looking at Ryan Tannehill with the 4^th selection in the NFL Draft.  Ewww, I can’t believe that the Browns would even entertain that thought, he was just converted from wide receiver to quarterback, plus… he has a flat ass”.

So since I have the league’s best sources, I’ve decided to jump on the mock draft bandwagon. Below is my expert opinion on the 13 players the Browns will be selecting in the 2012 NFL Draft.

Round 1 (pick 4) – Mediocre Downfield Threat With Two ACL Tears By 2014 Guy

Round 1 (pick 22) – Soon To Be Traded For A 6^th Round Pick Guy

Round 2 (pick 5) – Future “Browns Tailgate 19” Co-Host

Round 3 (pick 4) – Headcase Stone Hands Receiver

Round 4 (pick 5) – Right Tackle That Ends Colt McCoy’s Career Due To Blown Block

Round 4 (pick 23) – Mike Holmgren’s Pool Boy

Round 5 (pick 4) – Sorry Bastard To Replace Phil Dawson After Retirement

Round 5 (pick 25) – Somebody Related To Pat Shurmur

Round 6 (pick 34) – James Harrison Concussion Victim

Round 6 (pick 35) – Paralyzed From Staph Infection Guy

Round 7 (pick 4) - 2017 Pittsburgh Steelers Pro Bowl Defensive End

Round 7 (pick 38) – Local Collegiate Undersized Receiver

Round 7 (pick 40) – Happy To Be There Guy

So there you have it, 13 dead-on draft predictions for the Cleveland Browns.  To be truthful – I’m looking forward to the draft and think that the Browns are going to nail this one.  I’m also the guy that foolishly predicts a 9-7 season every single year.  You gotta love false optimism…and flat asses.

Inspire This

For some people, work is just one more hassle in a life full of annoyances.  I don’t fully understand those who are completely miserable in their profession.  For me, it makes sense to either love what you do, or keep chasing until you find it.  To toil and waste away for years in the same unsatisfied position speaks volumes about an individual.  There has to be more out there, a greater purpose to life, and it is illogical not to try to find out what that is.  I promise that this somewhat pompous rant will make sense by the end of this post, just hang in there.

I’m not going to act like my position at Jo-Ann Fabrics is earth shattering by any stretch of the imagination.  Simply put, my role is to try to get middle-aged women to buy more stuff by offering an engaging in-store customer experience.  I know, not exactly in a 28 year-old male’s wheelhouse.  One of these days I will try to understand the difference between knitting and crocheting, but that part of my brain is currently filled with the running list of 1990s WWF Tag-Team Champions and other useless knowledge.  So my job is to inspire the Jo-Ann customer to spend more money.  I absolutely love what I do mainly because I love customer-engaging marketing, but as for that greater purpose...well I can’t say that selling more doilies satisfies that part.

Which brings me to the reason I wanted to write this post.  Like I said, Jo-Ann aims to provide its customers with inspiration.  However, my wife, Eileen, truly is an inspiration in the lives that she touches as an oncology nurse at the Cooper Cancer Center at Summa.  Eileen continues to amaze me everyday with her dedication and simple approach to her career.  Oncology nurses become like family during the few short months that they are with their patients.  Eileen understands this better than anybody and takes great pride in her patient care.  The patients at the Cooper Cancer Center truly are blessed to not only have two great doctors, but also to have somebody like her with them along their journey.

Unfortunately, we all have been affected by the devastation of cancer in one way or another.  In just a span of 14 months, Eileen and I lost 4 family members to the disease.  In every instance of loss, Eileen went back to her position more determined than ever to be a shining light in the lives of patients.  I do not know how she does it.  I guess you just have to be wired a little differently.  I would break down like a baby.  Eileen is my motivation and inspiration to find passion in whatever I do.  She took a crack at this blogging thing too.  You can read her blog about Nurses Week at http://www.summaflourish.org/2011/05/my-inspiration/.  She will love that I posted that, so if you want more sappy stuff, head over there.

This brings me back to my first point.  Don’t view work as an annoyance.  Everybody can make some small difference in people’s lives.  If you work as a waitress then do the unexpected and deliver exceptional service.  If you work in an office, then try to make work a little more fun for others by taking a refreshing approach to business.  If you work for Time Warner Cable, then just quit your job, because there’s no way you’re bringing joy to anybody.  In order to get the most out of work, you must find that passion that drives you.  Ribbon and scrapbooking projects may help pay the bills, but Eileen and other nurses are life’s true inspiration.

Praying for Mediocrity

Last December, I graduated from Walsh University with a master’s degree – Marketing MBA.  The program took just a little over two years to complete and was extremely gratifying for the most part.  Multiple people told me during my last semester (including a very inspiring professor) that I was going to miss school as soon as it was over.  I’m most certainly not going to further my education in a doctoral program, so this is it for me.  It’s always crazy to hear how much you will be missing school when it’s so close to your graduation (the same was said after my graduation from Kent State). But after 4 months, truth is – I miss school. The late nights studying, the tedious papers, and long presentations will never be missed.  However, I do miss writing.  Not necessarily trying to find BS to extend my paper from 7 pages to 10, but I miss having others read my thoughts and ideas.  My favorite Benjamin Franklin quote is, “Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”  Okay, so that’s the only Benjamin Franklin quote I know, so by default it is my favorite, but it’s a good one nevertheless.

Since I am no longer forced to write lengthy papers about the ethical implications of increasing CEO compensation, I have decided to start a blog.  I will be writing about the four biggest passions in my life: family, sports, music, and marketing.  If you know me, I rarely take anything seriously, which I believe is the key to sanity.  Hopefully this blog will help to satisfy my inner creative and make a few people laugh along the way.  I’m not saying this is going to be great, or even good.  To be honest, I’m just praying for mediocrity.  If you like what you read, please forward it on to others.  If you don’t – just delete me from Facebook or unfollow me on Twitter – I probably deserve it.  Hopefully people will enjoy this.  For those who are reading, please set your expectations incredibly low.  I’m just happy that I no longer have to figure out how the Bangladesh poverty line is affected by interest rate declines in Norway.