Friday, January 11, 2013

Die Hard Cleveland Fan Upset with Hiring of Browns Head Coach Rob Chudzinski


Cleveland Browns Rob Chudzinski Head Coach


The Cleveland Browns’ search for a new head coach commenced on Thursday night when the team announced the hiring of Rob Chudzinski.  Chudzinski, who has most recently served as the Carolina Panthers Offensive Coordinator under Ron Rivera in 2011 and 2012, will bring much needed innovation and a vertical offensive game plan to a sickly Cleveland Browns offense.  Team owner Jimmy Haslam said candidly that Chudzinski’s leadership style and candid decision making candidly made him the best fit for the job.  However, not all Browns fans agree with Haslam’s assessment of his new head coach.

Die hard Browns fan and Toledo native Rob Chudzinski is one of the many who disagree with Chudzinski’s hiring.  “When I was at home with my wife Sheila and saw my name scroll across the bottom of the ESPN ticker as new coach of the Cleveland Browns, I instantly disliked the hire”, Chudzinski stated this morning.  “This team has seen its fair share of heartbreak since 1999, and hiring yet another inexperienced head coach is unacceptable.  As a child in Toledo, I would pretend to be Brian Sipe and Ozzie Newsome in my backyard, so I know the glory days of Browns football and what this team means to its city.  I am passionate about this franchise and gambling on a guy like myself is concerning for not only the front office, but for the fan base and region as well”. 

The Browns set an NFL record, interviewing 53 candidates in 11 days for their head coaching vacancy after the firing of Pat Shurmur.  Frustrated at the media perception of the arduous process and overall negative fan response, sources say that Haslam came to the realization that he cannot please the fans and was overheard screaming at Banner, “F*** them, if the fans think that they are so good, let’s see one of them try to coach this team”.  Enter Rob Chudzinski.

When asked on his shot of ever becoming an NFL head coach, Chudzinski replied, “You know, when I interviewed with Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, and St. Louis last year and walked away without a gig, I pretty much gave up on my dream.  If you can’t land a job with Jacksonville, then you need to rethink your career choice, which weighed heavy on my mind.  Then, out of nowhere, Mr. Haslam contacted me this week and invited me to an interview after Chip Kelly left him at the alter alone with Kim Jong Banner.  I was pretty bummed that my favorite team had to settle on somebody less than Chip Kelly, but I guess I’m lucky that they settled on me.  I’m still not on board with this hire, but you know, I guess I’ll give me a chance before I call morning radio to complain about myself”. 


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