Why I Needed LeBron to Win

I didn't want this to consume my life.  I thought I was a bigger man.  It's only sports. These are the things that were going through my mind last night as my wife and I were pulling out of the grocery store at 9pm.  In fact, I didn't even know that game 5 of the NBA Finals was just getting ready to tip off.  I was almost there.  If I did not check Twitter as we were waiting in line to check out - I would of went home, cracked open a Cherry Coke, and played a fake game of basketball on Playstation til 1am.  You know, because that's what regular 28 year-old married guys do....as well as 12 year-olds.  Oh the joy that playing a game with a virtual Michael Jordan brings me.  However, I did check Twitter, saw the game was on, and had to make a major decision at that time.  

I tried to fight it so hard.  I tried to not care.  I got home, carried in the groceries, and immediately turned on the TV to see what the score was.  Heat up by ten.  Shit.  The last two years of my life have led me to this night.  It was inevitable.  LeBron James is one of the ten greatest players to ever step on a basketball court.  To think that he would never win a NBA Championship is ridiculous.  However, I rooted as hard against LeBron as I have ever rooted for him, hoping that this would never happen.  It is hard enough to deal with all that comes with being a diehard Cleveland sports fan.  I've been kicked in the balls so many times that they are pretty much non-existent.  And I'm only 28.  My Dad, 53, has no balls left to be kicked.  To be honest, rooting this hard against somebody else while trying to maintain some sort of sanity with Cleveland sports as well was just growing to be too much.  Which is why I followed up my first Tweet with this:

In some sort of bizarro world, I was rooting for LeBron James to win this game.  Not to be joyous in seeing him succeed.  Trust me, if LeBron would of pulled a Joe Theisman at center court, I would of been the first person cheering in delight at the sight of the stretcher.  I needed LeBron to win so I could regain my sanity.  In a world of so much negativity, I don't need any more.  I need to focus on the positives that are going on in my life and in the Cleveland/Akron area.  Say what you want about the historical statistics of casinos and poverty, but The Horseshoe has seemed to bring a new life to Cleveland.  The city needs to ride this thing as far as it will take it.  You know what I saw the other night while walking to the Indians game?  A new retail store!  Yes, these do exist in Cleveland outside the dollar stores that have taken over Tower City.  

So there is so much positive out there. That doesn't mean that I forget or forgive what LeBron did on Thursday, July 8th, 2010.  Yes, I know that date by heart.  There are only a handful of times that I can remember crying as an adult.  Watching Eileen walk down the aisle on our wedding day, my grandfather's death, Eileen's family's funerals, the closing credits of the Nicholas Cage 9/11 movie, the last chapter of Scott Raab's book The Whore of Akron, and on July 8th, 2010.  Two of the six involve LeBron James directly.  It's stupid.  It's just sports. It doesn't matter...until it does.   

Which is why I need to move toward total apathy for the LeBron situation.  I know that people are tired of hearing his name, reading about his every move, reading Facebook posts and Tweets.  I may never get to apathy, but last night was a step in the right direction.  I can now stop focusing on rooting against one player to lose at every turn and start rooting with complete passion for our Cleveland teams.  I know one day, I'll be dancing around and look as happy as LeBron did on the bench with his teammates as the clock was winding down.  The sun came up this morning.  As it does every morning. But it shined a little less over downtown today.  Because God hates Cleveland.  Eff you LeBron.  Welp....so much for the positivity.